9.25.14 - ENTRY XVI: “Inspiration Deprivation”

It must be nice to be crushed on by someone. To know that there’s someone out there that sees you as a potential partner, an inspiration. It must be really fuckin great to be one of those people.

Inspiration whether we realize it or not is what drives us to succeed in any aspects of our lives. A few years back, every time I would do something wrong, my parents would tell me that I won’t have a great future. Well, every time I’d hear that shit, I would prove them wrong.

I’ve never been an inspiration to anybody. How would I know? I don’t. I guess I’m just really not good enough for anyone. It sucks but what can I do? I wasn’t born to please people. I was born to make people happy but myself.

I guess it was my destiny and I guess I’m fine with it. At least, NOW, I’m fine with it. I live a boring my life and I embrace the shit out of it.

Oh, and I also need to learn how to slow down and take things easy once in awhile. I get so caught up all the time that I end up wanting to rush things. I guess that’s what New York do to you.

That’s it for now journal!

P.S. There’s only one I will never forget to love. It’s HIM. Thank you for everything.

-reve

p-otter-m-alfoy:

at least i know nobody’s using me for my looks

(Source: potterm-alfoy, via zammen)

9.22.14 - ENTRY XV: “Master Dreamer”

Love yourself. It really is the only secret to happiness.

Everybody’s in love and in a relationship or just being successful and shit but you know what? For the first time ever, I don’t give a fuck. Yes, I’ve said it before, but now, it’s forreal. I’m taking control of my own life. With or without anybody. This is me. It’s my life. It’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. (Quote from Bon Jovi)

This is only the beginning. Chapter 1 of the Master Dreamer. I will dream and I will make those dreams happen. Thanks for listening Journal. I know you’re the only one I can vent all of these things and not feel like being judged.

This is it. Chapter 1: The Birth of The Master of all Dreams.

P.S. I’m lovin isolation and myself. It’s great!

-reve

fragile-skyy:

major-leaque:

when i say i hate school it doesn’t mean i hate education and knowledge. it means that i hate selfish and ignorant people there. it means that i hate stress and high expectations. it means that i hate being treated like a shit. it fucking means that i hate feeling like a failure all the time. 

THANK YOU!!!

(via west-coast-catt)

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peparii:

Truth.. | via Tumblr on We Heart It - http://weheartit.com/entry/55530631/via/groficap
9.19.14 - ENTRY XIV: “Why? / Dying Days”

Well i don’t know if it’s official but I’ve just lost a friend. It’s because i’m gay.. I guess. I get really attached to a guy that I start to like them and get a crush. I try so hard to stop the feelings but it doesn’t it’s like a little leech that sucks your entire body and drains you down.

This is why I’m alone. I end up messing up a good relationship. For some reason, it hasn’t hit me yet. Probably because he only just unfriended me on facebook but later on, when he starts not talking to me at all and moving on with his lovely life. That’s probably when it’s going to hit.

I know for a fact that I’m going to spend my life alone and tired. Hell, that’s what I am now. I blame it on my homosexuality. If i was a straight guy it wouldn’t be a problem but FUCK.

Why are gay people created? To feel bad about ourselves? I wanna know the answer. Some gay people are happy and in love. Why haven’t I been able to feel that? Am i that of a terrible person? Is it because i’m not like the others. Maybe I should change myself. I don’t know.

Well, move on. People come and go. I just hope my dying days are coming soon.

P.S. I wanna know why I’m gay? Is this the way of telling me i’m useless. Yes. Maybe. No. Maybe.

- reve

9.18.14 - ENTRY XIII: “Hurt. Anger. Done.”

Just as I suspected. This whole best friend thing is bullshit. I get it now. I’m not a good friend. Never have. Never will.

No wonder no guy will ever want to be with me. I suck. I know that now and I accept it. It doesn’t hurt me anymore at least for now.

Today I took out all my anger on the chicken I was fabricating and i sliced my index finger skin just a little. I didn’t even care for it. I told myself, “that’s all you’ve got. It’s gonna take a million more slices to hurt me”. I’m numb as fuck now. I don’t care if i get hurt. I don’t care if I die. Just don’t give a damn anymore. I’m here to follow my dreams and be the best I can be.

No more of those relationship shit. It ends here… but I doubt it. Tasia will soon find a victim to torture me. Stupid bitch. It will never happen so might as well just don’t care. I’m done. I AM DONE.

I was born alone. I will die alone.

P.S. Nothing can faze me anymore. I’m not the old sum bitch I was. It’s starts right now. Game on.

- reve

tasnimsmentalroadtrip:

All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary
All of this is temporary

(Source: violent-choices, via thetoxicdarkness)

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zodiacmind:

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