Welcome to hell
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6.15.14. - Entry XI: “A Normal Life”

It’s Father’s Day. I hate my dad. He hates people like me. But i dont wanna talk about that. I wanna tall about living a normal straight life. I wonder how it feels?

If i wasn’t gay, would i have a better life? A happy life? Probably yeah. I wish i was straight. Its weird. I like being gay but i want to be straight. Im not bisexual either. I dont know.

Sometimes i wish i was never born. This is not depression acting out. Its what I’ve always thought my whole life. If i wasn’t born i wouldn’t feel pain. I wouldn’t disappoint people and myself. I feel like a waste of space all the time.

I hope when i die, i get resurrected into a straight normal human being.

I wish i had normal life. A girlfriend. Loving parents. Brothers and sisters. Bestfriends. I wish i had a normal life.

P.S. Sometimes, i just don’t wanna be me. I wanna be a perfect person.


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